Tattoo’s, anxiety and life

Hello humans,

I am always active for a while and then I disappear. Well, I am proudly here to announce that I am part of the tattooed gang!   Yay! I don’t know how I managed to get it but go through it because I got a hand poked one!

The experience was amazing. I am still thinking to myself how did I manage to actually do it! So proud of myself.  Here is a bad photo I took!

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I never realised that my anxiety can affect my body so much! It is so hard to control it. I have managed to control it, in a way it doesn’t show to the world, but my body takes the punish. So it is time to start letting go and taking care of myself.

And life? I think she’s ok! I am we haven’t caught in a while with her for a coffee!

JOKES,

I am happy to say that the things are getting better and falling into place. For one thing, I just had my first author contact me and asked me to review their book! I am so proud of my hard work and finally someone liking it and asking me to review their book!

I am sure I will come inspired tomorrow with another post, but now this is it!

Mr.Sparkles is out! ( sparkles is a he yes even if I am a she)

 

 

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Your Last Chapter

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Hello Humans,

I found this, in one of the book groups, I am in. I thought to myself, would I?

I mean I would hope my life is awesome I am planning to be. If my life was epic I would want to read the end experience and say no way! If this is how I am going down then pat on the shoulder.

If though my life is going boring and not interesting I still want to know so I can re-write my stupid self for letting down my dreams and hopes.

Like HELLO, we live one life better make it count, the good and the bad. In fact, I want to be the writer of this book because I know the best way to go down!

Morbid? maybe but definitely not giving up.

 

What this chapter of your is called?

Hello Humans,

 

My chapter hmm, I think I am going to call it

EAT, READ,  EXPENSIVE AND REPEAT

First of all, pizza has become my boyfriend, you guys! I am obsessed, so I am forcing myself to go on a “challenge” otherwise my diet consists of potatoes, pizza, tahini and salad and it’s not healthy.

Read? Hello!!!! I am banned to buy more books because my TBR pile is out of hand like jeez. Don’t worry I put my books on Kindle here so we can be obsessive buddies together.

Fugitive magic (currently reading)

Kitsune: A Little Mermaid Retelling (free goodie cause I don’t like spending too much money)

A Mortal Song

I only linked three because ya guys you be reading for ages plus That’s How I am going to read this books! If you want me to list more books comment below and I will make a new post.

Expensive da with paying my bills and buying books and takeaways it is not cheap.

Repeat obviously the cycle never ends.

Whats your chapter?

Since I have been gone

Hello Humans,

 

How you been? I bet you guys forgot that I existed because of not being present here!

How am I?

I don’t know, I feel lost, stressed, overwhelmed so many projects, not enough time!

I missed writing here, but every time I attempt to write I give up. I have named it boredom, but is it?

Lately, I have this overbearing feeling that I want to hide from humanity my responsibilities, run away from my life and lock myself in a remote island so I can get the projects that I want done.

Project 1#

Finish my bloody kid’s book it is almost done the story is so cute but I can’t find an ending to it.

Project 2#

Finish my poetry book, I have written so far 34 poems I wanted to reach 100, but not nothing. Also adding to that I decided to do photos accompanying the poems.

Project 3#

Continue writing my novel, at the start of the year it was going so well, but I have been stuck with it for a long time. It is not writer’s block because ya guys I haven’t opened the document over 5 months.

Project 4#

It’s an art project, I know the concept, I  haven’t gotten into to actually trying it.

Project 5#

I am on process creating it but I feel scared. Sorry, can’t say too much only a few people know about it.

Also, I am trying to make my book blog bigger you can go check it out My Trending Books

Did I mention that I work full time as well?

I guess the only advice that I can give myself and other people in this situation is take it slowly prioritize and take it step by step. So for once, I am taking my advice!

Big steps for me here… not making my schedule packed, but doing it slowly.

Comment below how is your style of doing thing when your schedule is packed?

 

 

The baggage

The happy life we meant to have! 

happy is the new black

No feel no emotions other than happiness

Hello humans,

those are some examples that society wants us to be.

Human beings are getting better to express their feelings and mental problems. I am one of them. what’s my baggage?

what’s my baggage?

The need to achieve the best and pack as much as I can to my schedule and I want to “succeed” in life.

you might say it’s healthy to have those goals! but not when you can’t sleep at night because you feel you failed at what you do. You might say I am a workaholic because when I am not working I am on the next project, cleaning, writing, reading, going out.

All those things there are not bad, but I have been in a burnt out phase and my anxiety has peaked levels. The only way I used to manage all of this was by binge eating. I can’t do that anymore because I am being “good” with food and my body so my credit card suffers from it. Shopping doesn’t fill the wholeness and the overwhelming feeling that I have everyday.

So what do I do?

So what do you do?(if you are having this problem or worse)

For me, I take a step back cut the yuckiness out of my life, the baggage of the society, that wants us perfect beings. I am not perfect neither I want to be! I just want to succeed in life!

I feel already successful when I cut the bullshit of wanting more with my life.

I might have a degree and I might be a struggling artist that works as a barista to get by, but I couldn’t be happier because all the beautiful human beings surrounding my life.

I still try to juggle the balance of the life I want to have and the life my parents want me to have. At the end of the day, I want to be happy, sad, angry, silly, and not be judged by it because is not appropriate for my age. Who gives a shit! You are living your life not the person that’s telling you that you are not doing this accordingly by the book.

 

So people cut the garbage out of your life or don’t! I learned how to live with it but now I am learning to live without it.

 

 

 

Favorite words!

Do you have favorite words? 

Like you hear them or try to use them all the time? 

I know I do ! Call me crazy but some words is just how you pronounce them or them meaning! 

So here is my all time favorite words 

1. B E A U TIFUL

2. Absolutely 

3. Scrumptious 

4. Galore 

5. Skedadle 

What your favourite words? Leave them at the comments bellow.

Stay awesome humans 

Mr. Sparkles

Hi Y’all,

 

I decided that will make up an alter ego. I choose my alter ego be Mr. Sparkles because Mr. Sparkle has no self-control and no shame and can say whatever he wants.

MR. Sparkles today is saying to everybody, get a little of not to give a f*ck sparkle dust because I will continue being awesome.

Relaxation? ??

What does it take to relax?

Go out of town? 

Not looking at emails? 

Not worring about projects ?

Put on the airplane mode? 

Meditate?

For me is going away and seeing my family… but always something happens and I get disturbed of my peace time!!! People smell that I need a time off and they do anything in their hand to stop it…

I feel I am a workaholic but I need to let go and stop doing things for people … my parter says gp out do sth get your mind of it! I simply can’t!  I will force myself to do it though cause I need some time out! 
What do you do for a time out? And if someone ruins it for you how do you seek it further?

Broken Brain?

I saved a praying mantis from my cat today and while I was doing that I had a thought why my brain feel so broken?

 

Meaning why am I so stressed and sad all the time? I have good things happening in my life, but every small and thing turn into a big drama day of crying for me.

Lately, I feel everyone hates me, and they want to destroy me. I know it is not true, but my head is messing up with me.

Honestly, I need a time-out.Time out from life, work, relationships, friendships I want to float into void and be surrounded by white light. Evey time I plan to do that something pulls me back to reality. All I need is 3 days away from every possible situation to just let the worries float out.