Insanity letters to myself Letter 1-Happy monsterating

Dear me,

The insanity of wanting something so much and then not getting it is heartbreaking.

Let me back up first so everybody get a context of what I am talking about. Motherhood, at some point a lot of women wants to be mothers, but not all are lucky enough to get pregnant straight away or not at all some times. Some have it experienced it and be heart broken each month when you see that all the symptoms you were having and thinking you were pregnant is just a bad case of the worst PMS of history again.

I am one of those women. I am not disappointed that I entered my shark week , but the anxiety of am or am I not before is ever wrecking. I talked about it too much with strangers that know me and I feel the pity in their eyes and the phrase “it will happen don’t worry”, it makes it all of a more heartbreaking.

So instead of going to a professional as I would normally do . I decided to write letters to myself of my feelings and weird psychological things I put myself to. Probably I am the most mondane person there is, but writing about it always helped me me more than talking it about it.

So here I am telling you sometimes monsterating is disappointing because you are not pregnant, but simply preparing for a new cycle.

I hope by writing those letters I would give a little lightness to the situation of trying to conceive and people will laugh, cry and be excited with me and maybe share your stories with me so we be in this together.

When someone drops the L bomb

When someone drops the L word.
You need to take some steps!
1. Don’t say thank you
2. Don’t say I like you too
3. Say you so cheesy we just been dating only for 2 weeks
4. Run for the hills, run for your life because of its true that you or the other person said I love you in the course of 2 weeks to 2 months that’s too soon.

5. Repeat if necessary or say I love you back and get stuck with that person for ever!

What was your biggest fear as a child?

Well, I had/have a fear of the deep water/sea basically where it get too deep that is black or dark blue I freak out.

The way my fear started was one swimming with my friend in the deep sea and for fun she fake drown me, I freaked out and since then a fear of something is going to catch me by the feet and take me to the bottom. The weird thing is I am a good swimmer and if I had to swim out there where I can’t see the bottom I probably would, but wouldn’t like it. On last note, the way I could face my fear is to wear shoes inside the sea. I know weird, but hey I feel protected that way.