Insanity letters to myself -Letter 2, you dropped something

Dear me,

I thought this was a funny meme, because I am going through this everyday and it doesn’t have to be shark week time.

I would like to say that women are so strong pulling the emotion together when we are out there in the world and trying to prove to everybody that everything is fine and we don’t need any help. But behind closed doors we can drop a spoon lets say and ball our eyes out.

For one today , I was super productive and around an hour ago I went to make some coffee for me and after I finished dI went to put the machine away and as I was putting down were it belongs I dropped it with full tank of water. I splashed water all over the wall and carpet with some speckles of coffee. I lost it! I cried like a baby while was trying to clean the floor and wall before it had any damage.

Often, people call women insane for crying too easily but in all reality we bottle so much and then boom the crying gates are open. I often hear the world crazy, too emotional just suck it up and move on. I don’t want to move on.

I WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY FEELINGS. Yes, I know I am yelling , but I do want to say that it’s ok not feel good all the time and please take time to cry because without those feeling you probably be a psychopath or a sociopath ready to conquer the world.

So cry, let’s cry together because life is sad sometimes and crying for that dropped spoon gets you through the day, month , year fighting to get want you want(pregnancy, promotion saving that money for a big travel whatever it is ) then do it.

Stay strong together, cry together, laugh together with my stupid speeches.

Insanity letters to myself Letter 1-Happy monsterating

Dear me,

The insanity of wanting something so much and then not getting it is heartbreaking.

Let me back up first so everybody get a context of what I am talking about. Motherhood, at some point a lot of women wants to be mothers, but not all are lucky enough to get pregnant straight away or not at all some times. Some have it experienced it and be heart broken each month when you see that all the symptoms you were having and thinking you were pregnant is just a bad case of the worst PMS of history again.

I am one of those women. I am not disappointed that I entered my shark week , but the anxiety of am or am I not before is ever wrecking. I talked about it too much with strangers that know me and I feel the pity in their eyes and the phrase “it will happen don’t worry”, it makes it all of a more heartbreaking.

So instead of going to a professional as I would normally do . I decided to write letters to myself of my feelings and weird psychological things I put myself to. Probably I am the most mondane person there is, but writing about it always helped me me more than talking it about it.

So here I am telling you sometimes monsterating is disappointing because you are not pregnant, but simply preparing for a new cycle.

I hope by writing those letters I would give a little lightness to the situation of trying to conceive and people will laugh, cry and be excited with me and maybe share your stories with me so we be in this together.