Insanity letter to me -insanity?

Hello humans,

Since I started writing here and admitting obsessive thoughts and feelings I started feeling a little better than before. That insanity feeling that I had about a month ago is gone.

Talking with my friends and family made me realise that those feelings were normal because it’s not just me feeling the world is going to collapse on top of my head. There are so many people out there that have the anxiety and these strange times.

I would like to say that you are not alone feeling insane all the time and have those feelings. Also, would like to make sure that you know it is ok to feel insane. we are humans and we are entitled to not feeling okay all the time, absolutely normal not to feel happy and cheery there are other feelings that exist not just positive but we have negative we need to accept them as they are because this is what makes assume even if that sometimes represents us as insane.

Please free to share your insane moments with me because we’re always in this together, in these unsettling times and it’s good to stick together all of us insane people.

Insanity letters to myself -Letter 2, you dropped something

Dear me,

I thought this was a funny meme, because I am going through this everyday and it doesn’t have to be shark week time.

I would like to say that women are so strong pulling the emotion together when we are out there in the world and trying to prove to everybody that everything is fine and we don’t need any help. But behind closed doors we can drop a spoon lets say and ball our eyes out.

For one today , I was super productive and around an hour ago I went to make some coffee for me and after I finished dI went to put the machine away and as I was putting down were it belongs I dropped it with full tank of water. I splashed water all over the wall and carpet with some speckles of coffee. I lost it! I cried like a baby while was trying to clean the floor and wall before it had any damage.

Often, people call women insane for crying too easily but in all reality we bottle so much and then boom the crying gates are open. I often hear the world crazy, too emotional just suck it up and move on. I don’t want to move on.

I WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY FEELINGS. Yes, I know I am yelling , but I do want to say that it’s ok not feel good all the time and please take time to cry because without those feeling you probably be a psychopath or a sociopath ready to conquer the world.

So cry, let’s cry together because life is sad sometimes and crying for that dropped spoon gets you through the day, month , year fighting to get want you want(pregnancy, promotion saving that money for a big travel whatever it is ) then do it.

Stay strong together, cry together, laugh together with my stupid speeches.

Insanity letters to myself Letter 1-Happy monsterating

Dear me,

The insanity of wanting something so much and then not getting it is heartbreaking.

Let me back up first so everybody get a context of what I am talking about. Motherhood, at some point a lot of women wants to be mothers, but not all are lucky enough to get pregnant straight away or not at all some times. Some have it experienced it and be heart broken each month when you see that all the symptoms you were having and thinking you were pregnant is just a bad case of the worst PMS of history again.

I am one of those women. I am not disappointed that I entered my shark week , but the anxiety of am or am I not before is ever wrecking. I talked about it too much with strangers that know me and I feel the pity in their eyes and the phrase “it will happen don’t worry”, it makes it all of a more heartbreaking.

So instead of going to a professional as I would normally do . I decided to write letters to myself of my feelings and weird psychological things I put myself to. Probably I am the most mondane person there is, but writing about it always helped me me more than talking it about it.

So here I am telling you sometimes monsterating is disappointing because you are not pregnant, but simply preparing for a new cycle.

I hope by writing those letters I would give a little lightness to the situation of trying to conceive and people will laugh, cry and be excited with me and maybe share your stories with me so we be in this together.

When you are fat and make excuses…

Hello Humans,

How are you doing?

Haven’t been long since I wrote here which is amazing because I am keeping the promise to myself of keep writing. Anyway I wanted o make fun of myself and the excuses I keep telling myself also I wanted to be a little inspirational at the same time. So I hope this post will be as awesome as it is in my head. 

You know you just wake up some days and you feel so fat, and the first thing you say to yourself is I am so bloated, it must be the beans on the pizza I ate last night! Like ya, it’s the legumes, not the 2 pizzas you consumed last night making you feel guilty and fat. 

Honestly I didn’t eat the two pizzas but I have done in the past. I did eat though nachos with beans and it is really hard when you call yourself fat because you are a size 12 because I know deep down that I am not fat ( maybe a little) but my head is not happy. 

I came to realize that all the excuses that I was keep saying to myself in these 6 years I gained 20kg. That’s a lot, and my goal for the next 12 weeks is not to lose kilos because that is not important but to get fit and start loving my body as is again. 

Us women and men we need to start learning how to love ourselves first before we try to be thin, fat, fit and have emotions. I know it is hard to try and fit in society and make excuses how you look today. Like yeah I am bloated and fat at the same time what does it matter; I am working on my problems one at a time. 

So, I hope you follow my journey of me complaining and trying my best to change my lifestyle. You can join as well and we can motivate each other. 

What is your experience with body issues would love to know!

Choices we make

Hello Humans,

How you doing?

I am lost in the universe of being an adult and saving money to buy a house because that’s the responsible thing to do.

You see I do believe in choices we make and what path we are heading; I chose to get married and try to buy a house and in the future starting a family. I consider myself lucky enough to have found my soul mate that makes want to settle down. I chose this life no one forces me to do all those things. 

Have you ever thought how all the choices we make  impact our life’s so much that we see the results many months later or even years. The choice that I made or should I say my mum made to send to New Zealand for a better life and a better relationship with my father changed the course of the rest of my life. I know it sounds dramatic , but it is true I am a completely different person 6 years later and I love my mum so much for doing this for me because it made an awesome girl out of me. I am strong independent, found the love of my life experienced things I would never have in Greece and above all it made me love life more than ever. I am surround by amazing people and I have an amazing job that full fills me and nailing my goals in life. Well, most of them anyway. I am not fit and my bones hurts every-time I walk because I am not taking care of myself as much I should, but it is a choice that I made and I am about to change for me. 

The question is did you make a choice that impact your life that much?

PS. It hasn’t been an easy journey, also, I hope my positivity brings some light to some and help them make a better choice for them. 

Also Also I am making the choice to get back to my other loves like writing here and taking care of me.

Stay awesome Humans

Let’s talk about Self-Care

Hello Humans,

let’s talk about self-care. I am no expert here about self-care nor I claim that I found the solution of peace of mind and calm soul. But I have a fair share of trying to find myself, care myself and such.

I have to say it very very very hard to take care of yourself because you sometimes forget what’s important and what’s not! The must’s of everyday life come into focus on the wants.

Fellow humans, I am sorry to say this but the wants are very important; it is the things we want, keep us sane.

So don’t neglect those wants over musts.

For me is an everyday struggle to do things that I want rather than must and sometimes I try to balance my wanting to do things without forcing myself to do them so.

A very jumbled post but here it is, my insight to self-care.

LESSON OF THE DAY: Do something that you want and take a step back from all the musts of your everyday life. Because taking a break or a step back is moving forward.

Till next time,

Stay sane humans.

When Life gives you Lemons!

Hello Humans,

 

it has been a while but I am struggling with stress and personal issues but I thought today I should talk about bad things that happen to us. Otherwise, the lemons that life gives.

I always said when life gives you lemons make lemonade because they are expensive.

I often think that what if my life had me different easier, didn’t take my chances what would happen?

 

I don’t know what would happen but I have an odd feeling that I would be unhappy, I mean right now I am not thrilled with anything just overwhelmed than anything else.  Yes, life has played some tricks on me but taking advantage of those tricks and going with the flow I learned a lot of lessons and met great people along the way!

I think I would prefer to make lemonade than continuously throwing the lemons because of thats just a waste.

Probably didn’t make sense what I just said… If you did understand then welcome to the club 🙂

Mr. Sparkles took over my body

I had a great meeting with my group today and after the meeting finished he took over my body.

He said “Elektra I am sorry but you need to go to the super market. You need to start taking care of your body and your health.”

He took me shopping we didn’t spend a lot of money and we have enough food and veggies for a whole week.

Mr. Sparkles is changing my life and I cannot help it.

Mr. Sparkles

Hi Y’all,

 

I decided that will make up an alter ego. I choose my alter ego be Mr. Sparkles because Mr. Sparkle has no self-control and no shame and can say whatever he wants.

MR. Sparkles today is saying to everybody, get a little of not to give a f*ck sparkle dust because I will continue being awesome.

Broken Brain?

I saved a praying mantis from my cat today and while I was doing that I had a thought why my brain feel so broken?

 

Meaning why am I so stressed and sad all the time? I have good things happening in my life, but every small and thing turn into a big drama day of crying for me.

Lately, I feel everyone hates me, and they want to destroy me. I know it is not true, but my head is messing up with me.

Honestly, I need a time-out.Time out from life, work, relationships, friendships I want to float into void and be surrounded by white light. Evey time I plan to do that something pulls me back to reality. All I need is 3 days away from every possible situation to just let the worries float out.