Insanity letter to me -insanity?

Hello humans,

Since I started writing here and admitting obsessive thoughts and feelings I started feeling a little better than before. That insanity feeling that I had about a month ago is gone.

Talking with my friends and family made me realise that those feelings were normal because it’s not just me feeling the world is going to collapse on top of my head. There are so many people out there that have the anxiety and these strange times.

I would like to say that you are not alone feeling insane all the time and have those feelings. Also, would like to make sure that you know it is ok to feel insane. we are humans and we are entitled to not feeling okay all the time, absolutely normal not to feel happy and cheery there are other feelings that exist not just positive but we have negative we need to accept them as they are because this is what makes assume even if that sometimes represents us as insane.

Please free to share your insane moments with me because we’re always in this together, in these unsettling times and it’s good to stick together all of us insane people.

the survival instict

you often ask yourself how the hell do people live like that? how do they survive?

when common logic is thrown out of the window you suddenly realize how dangerous is life.

being reckless is no fun! and certainly is no joke when you toying with someone else life. you wonder why people act the way they do? I know people suffer from their own problems but have the decency to be careful while you drive.

The past few days I saw so many people going against the law and being dangerous not only for themselves and others.

You wonder if these people survive base on the survival instinct alone?

I mean the only behavior can come close are animalistic behavior but even then animals are more civilized than some humans.

I feel shaken by peoples driving here because there is no law that they uphold and when those people go to a country that the law is enforced they get a shock and blame the people that they are sheep and don’t live a little!

How dare they! If I wanted a dateline rush I will do skydiving but I will not put myself and others in danger of reckless driving. Because truly that action is selfish.

 

Ok, Rant over! Let me know though your thoughts! love to hear them!

Let’s talk about Self-Care

Hello Humans,

let’s talk about self-care. I am no expert here about self-care nor I claim that I found the solution of peace of mind and calm soul. But I have a fair share of trying to find myself, care myself and such.

I have to say it very very very hard to take care of yourself because you sometimes forget what’s important and what’s not! The must’s of everyday life come into focus on the wants.

Fellow humans, I am sorry to say this but the wants are very important; it is the things we want, keep us sane.

So don’t neglect those wants over musts.

For me is an everyday struggle to do things that I want rather than must and sometimes I try to balance my wanting to do things without forcing myself to do them so.

A very jumbled post but here it is, my insight to self-care.

LESSON OF THE DAY: Do something that you want and take a step back from all the musts of your everyday life. Because taking a break or a step back is moving forward.

Till next time,

Stay sane humans.

When Life gives you Lemons!

Hello Humans,

 

it has been a while but I am struggling with stress and personal issues but I thought today I should talk about bad things that happen to us. Otherwise, the lemons that life gives.

I always said when life gives you lemons make lemonade because they are expensive.

I often think that what if my life had me different easier, didn’t take my chances what would happen?

 

I don’t know what would happen but I have an odd feeling that I would be unhappy, I mean right now I am not thrilled with anything just overwhelmed than anything else.  Yes, life has played some tricks on me but taking advantage of those tricks and going with the flow I learned a lot of lessons and met great people along the way!

I think I would prefer to make lemonade than continuously throwing the lemons because of thats just a waste.

Probably didn’t make sense what I just said… If you did understand then welcome to the club 🙂

Doing That thing we wanted

Hello Humans,

Do you remember last week you said to yourself I am going to go for a run today!

But you never went, because I don’t know you couldn’t be bothered to put your shoes on and instead you ate chips!

This was just an example but in many cases, it happens either is a run or to start a blog or whatever we desire.

Why do we sabotage ourselves?

I don’t know for you out there, but I am scared of failure. I always put it I can’t be bothered or I am too busy for this; I have this feeling though that I failed myself because I didn’t do it, obviously, I wanted to go for a run but my stupid brain was nah!

I need to learn to break the habit of just sitting back and doing nothing when I want to do something.

So 2018 I am coming with the determination of breaking the lazy brain habits 🙂

What about you? Would love to hear your experience!

 

 

Tattoo’s, anxiety and life

Hello humans,

I am always active for a while and then I disappear. Well, I am proudly here to announce that I am part of the tattooed gang!   Yay! I don’t know how I managed to get it but go through it because I got a hand poked one!

The experience was amazing. I am still thinking to myself how did I manage to actually do it! So proud of myself.  Here is a bad photo I took!

 

I never realised that my anxiety can affect my body so much! It is so hard to control it. I have managed to control it, in a way it doesn’t show to the world, but my body takes the punish. So it is time to start letting go and taking care of myself.

And life? I think she’s ok! I am we haven’t caught in a while with her for a coffee!

JOKES,

I am happy to say that the things are getting better and falling into place. For one thing, I just had my first author contact me and asked me to review their book! I am so proud of my hard work and finally someone liking it and asking me to review their book!

I am sure I will come inspired tomorrow with another post, but now this is it!

Mr.Sparkles is out! ( sparkles is a he yes even if I am a she)

 

 

Your Last Chapter

Hello Humans,

I found this, in one of the book groups, I am in. I thought to myself, would I?

I mean I would hope my life is awesome I am planning to be. If my life was epic I would want to read the end experience and say no way! If this is how I am going down then pat on the shoulder.

If though my life is going boring and not interesting I still want to know so I can re-write my stupid self for letting down my dreams and hopes.

Like HELLO, we live one life better make it count, the good and the bad. In fact, I want to be the writer of this book because I know the best way to go down!

Morbid? maybe but definitely not giving up.

 

What this chapter of your is called?

Hello Humans,

 

My chapter hmm, I think I am going to call it

EAT, READ,  EXPENSIVE AND REPEAT

First of all, pizza has become my boyfriend, you guys! I am obsessed, so I am forcing myself to go on a “challenge” otherwise my diet consists of potatoes, pizza, tahini and salad and it’s not healthy.

Read? Hello!!!! I am banned to buy more books because my TBR pile is out of hand like jeez. Don’t worry I put my books on Kindle here so we can be obsessive buddies together.

Fugitive magic (currently reading)

Kitsune: A Little Mermaid Retelling (free goodie cause I don’t like spending too much money)

A Mortal Song

I only linked three because ya guys you be reading for ages plus That’s How I am going to read this books! If you want me to list more books comment below and I will make a new post.

Expensive da with paying my bills and buying books and takeaways it is not cheap.

Repeat obviously the cycle never ends.

Whats your chapter?

Since I have been gone

Hello Humans,

 

How you been? I bet you guys forgot that I existed because of not being present here!

How am I?

I don’t know, I feel lost, stressed, overwhelmed so many projects, not enough time!

I missed writing here, but every time I attempt to write I give up. I have named it boredom, but is it?

Lately, I have this overbearing feeling that I want to hide from humanity my responsibilities, run away from my life and lock myself in a remote island so I can get the projects that I want done.

Project 1#

Finish my bloody kid’s book it is almost done the story is so cute but I can’t find an ending to it.

Project 2#

Finish my poetry book, I have written so far 34 poems I wanted to reach 100, but not nothing. Also adding to that I decided to do photos accompanying the poems.

Project 3#

Continue writing my novel, at the start of the year it was going so well, but I have been stuck with it for a long time. It is not writer’s block because ya guys I haven’t opened the document over 5 months.

Project 4#

It’s an art project, I know the concept, I  haven’t gotten into to actually trying it.

Project 5#

I am on process creating it but I feel scared. Sorry, can’t say too much only a few people know about it.

Also, I am trying to make my book blog bigger you can go check it out My Trending Books

Did I mention that I work full time as well?

I guess the only advice that I can give myself and other people in this situation is take it slowly prioritize and take it step by step. So for once, I am taking my advice!

Big steps for me here… not making my schedule packed, but doing it slowly.

Comment below how is your style of doing thing when your schedule is packed?

 

 

The baggage

The happy life we meant to have! 

happy is the new black

No feel no emotions other than happiness

Hello humans,

those are some examples that society wants us to be.

Human beings are getting better to express their feelings and mental problems. I am one of them. what’s my baggage?

what’s my baggage?

The need to achieve the best and pack as much as I can to my schedule and I want to “succeed” in life.

you might say it’s healthy to have those goals! but not when you can’t sleep at night because you feel you failed at what you do. You might say I am a workaholic because when I am not working I am on the next project, cleaning, writing, reading, going out.

All those things there are not bad, but I have been in a burnt out phase and my anxiety has peaked levels. The only way I used to manage all of this was by binge eating. I can’t do that anymore because I am being “good” with food and my body so my credit card suffers from it. Shopping doesn’t fill the wholeness and the overwhelming feeling that I have everyday.

So what do I do?

So what do you do?(if you are having this problem or worse)

For me, I take a step back cut the yuckiness out of my life, the baggage of the society, that wants us perfect beings. I am not perfect neither I want to be! I just want to succeed in life!

I feel already successful when I cut the bullshit of wanting more with my life.

I might have a degree and I might be a struggling artist that works as a barista to get by, but I couldn’t be happier because all the beautiful human beings surrounding my life.

I still try to juggle the balance of the life I want to have and the life my parents want me to have. At the end of the day, I want to be happy, sad, angry, silly, and not be judged by it because is not appropriate for my age. Who gives a shit! You are living your life not the person that’s telling you that you are not doing this accordingly by the book.

 

So people cut the garbage out of your life or don’t! I learned how to live with it but now I am learning to live without it.